Little Bear Loves...Noisy Toys

So about a month ago I was getting all first time mum concerned that LB wasn't very interested in toys. She would watch while I played with them in front of her, slightly bemused by the manic expression of lookhowmuchfun on my face, but she never tried to do any playing of her own.

Fast forward a few weeks and LB is in toy heaven. She'll reach for toys, gnaw them, bash them and generally have a lovely time. But only with noisy toys. Crinkly toys, rattly toys, jingly toys, toys that talk, toys that play music. Toys, basically, that drive me totally insane.

Her favourite is a set of pots and pans that are programmed to sing and say a series of set phrases as LB stacks them and moves them around. The pans have an irritating babyish voice in a high pitched American accent. The smallest pan has a carrot that can be pushed so it pops up and down and whenever you press it, it says 'thank you!' in a mentally cheery fashion. Why? What kind of masochistic carrot would thank you for putting it in a pan of boiling water? And why am I exposing my child to this kind of insanity?
carrot toy LB bloody loves this toy. She will happily play with it for ten minutes at a time, which is about the extent of her attention span for any activity. She talks back to it and her delighted squeals mingle with the fucking deranged carrot singing 'pots, pots, pots and pans; put some food inside! Make a yummy veggie soup, or pasta! You decide!'. Her delight is matched only by my increasing fury at whoever bought this monstrosity of a toy for her (thanks Nana!)

So far, Little Bear has resisted all my attempts to get her to play with lovely quiet toys like teddies. For a while she was rather taken with a whisk out of the kitchen and my fears that she might get her tongue stuck in the loops were tempered by my joy at the lack of irritating music. However, she has now discovered that the whisk is even more fun if she bashes it against the laminate flooring while roaring with glee...

FML